Coming Out From the Dark Cloud

Descending from the grave above me

The place that haunted my existence

The cloud that loomed and lowered my ability to think and perceive.

The gray areas would not dissipate

They carried themselves in a conduit wrapped around me.

I would not let the shutters open for fear of condemnation and ridicule.  They stayed shut and kept me in.

Now I sit in a vulnerable downward draft easing off of the pain that sustains the cloud.

Hovering up and down on the waves of the darkness.  Whether I move or stand still, it is always there.  It rocks and consoles me through the day into a place where I can make out my existence.

My pain is spelled out for me in the waves I am carried on, and the shores of hope seem so distant.

I find myself meandering around, bobbing up and down as if an ocean tide were carrying me.

This becomes my state as life goes on and I find myself unable to stand my feet on the ground.

I am carried by pain.

The darkness chokes and overwhelms periodically to the point where I feel it is all I am breathing.  The dark smoke and rays shoot through me and hamper my chances at a normal life.

Someday I will be given the opportunity for new strength.

Until then, I know that my abilities to grasp life in the manner everyone else does will be long in coming.  I expect to spend my time with my feet carrying my life across humble ground, realizing I took an untainted life for granted.

Or maybe, it was the way of the universe to show me the strength that would be required for those who have gone my road.

My presence will appear to others slowed and disdained and part of the wreckage of society.

I will hobble and groan because that is the only way I can move until my feet find hope and love again, and the cloud is consumed by a healthy life.

Copyrighted © By Lisa Wick, 2013